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China vs. America

China culture shock day in the life host family NSLI-Y 厦门

The following is a list of the interesting things I have noticed, experiences, and struggled with in China that differ from in America:

1) The streets of China are a dangerous place to be, beware!
Their entire idea of driving is so different than in America. In America, all street laws revolve around pedestrians, but in China, pedestrians are at the bottom of the road totem poll. In China, if a pedestrian is hit, it is considered their wrong doing because they did not move out of the way of a the car. Sidewalks in China have no significance at all. Cars do not slow down at them, and people do not walk on them. Here are the two main things you must know in order to survive on the streets of China:

• Pedestrians do not care where they walk, as long as they get to their destination on time, and have in mind that Asians are ALWAYS on time. So if they will run through you, if that means they will not be late. 
• Cars do not care what they hit, what light they run through, who they cut off, as long as they a) do not get stopped by a cop b) if they do not kill anyone/themselves c) make it to their destination quickly.

The streets of China is like Mario Karts. Not only do their street lights count down before they change, but everyone seems as if they are racing each other and if they hit a pedestrian, it is an extra 20 points. Bicyclists act the same as cars, except they are a level before on the totem poll. But before bicyclists are motorcyclists because they have the power to speed past all the cars and weave in between them. Lastly, seat belts. It is as if they do not exist in China.  Only if you have a fancy car that beeps at you, do you put on your seat belt. And even sometimes people will ignore the annoying alert and leave their seat belt off the entire trip. If you're in the backseat, don't even try putting on your seat belt. Evening reaching towards the belt will attract the stares from everyone around you. They will even tell you not to buckle up and un-buckle your seat belt for you.

2) Wanted: Ice water.
In China, you will never find ice water. If you do, please let me know of this miracle you have stumbled upon. Ice water is non-existent in China, mainly because their water system is not as clean as our. Therefore, cold water is equivalent to unsafe water/ dirty water. Most everyone in China prefers to drink 开水 which is boiled/ boiling water. Most of the homes in China always have hot water at hand, unlike in America, where every house  has bottled water in their fridge.This is another difference in China; their refrigerators are just glorified food holders. After struggling with the hot water situation, I kept my mug of water in the fridge over night excepting it to be nice and refreshing the next morning. To my surprise, the next morning when I went to drink it with breakfast, it was barely room temperature. Then, in shock, I stuck my hand in their "fridge" to find it barely cooler than the non- AC room I was standing in.
Even their pools are hot. Today, I went to a country club with my host sister and Skylar and his host brother. The club was beautiful and very western, so I was extra excited about the pool, thinking it would be cool and refreshing. But as we walked down the steps (they wouldn't let me jump in because apparently Chinese people don't do that) I didn't get that chill of cold water like I usually do. To my surprise, the water is a little warm, around room temperature. It was like taking a bath, in a giant tub, filled with other people.

3) Please, someone buy these Chinese people air conditioning!
If I could go back in time and ask anyone any question, I would ask the person who designed the homes in 厦门 why on earth they did not install air conditioning units into the homes. You would think that in a place this hot, where you have to employ someone to drive along the roads spraying them with water to cool them down so they won't melt, someone would install AC into the homes. At least they have AC units in the bedrooms. Therefore, I keep my AC set at 25 degrees Celsius so whenever I walk into my room it's the perfect temperature; not too cold that I'd a drastic change walking from the hot house into my room but also not too hot that it seems the AC is not even on.

4) Slippers, slippers, slippers!
I'm sure you all already knew that Chinese people love clean things (which I find ironic since they do some gross things in public). But when it comes to their homes, they despise any and all dirt.  Even my 1 1/2 year old host brother knows how to say slippers in English and Chinese, so whenever I forget to wear the slippers they gave me, he points at my feet and says, slippers. This, of course, brings on the attention of everyone in the room who then makes me walk all the way back upstairs to get my slippers (which are just beach flipflops).
But as I spend more time with my host family, wearing slippers, I have become accustom to it. The other day I forgot to wear mine, and surprisingly no one noticed, but my feet felt weird hitting the floor, as if I needed that extra layer. I think going back to America and not wearing slippers will be a little confusing at first.
     *also I just realized that I haven't stood on carpet since we were in Shanghai about a month ago!

5) Why do all the beds in China feel like rocks?
Chinese are strong advocates for the "harder beds are more healthy for your back" campaign. Every house I have been to, every hotel I've stayed, and every dorm room I've been to in China has had hard beds. I cannot wait to run into my room back home and jump into bed!

6) Their impeccable work ethic
To this date, I have yet to meet a lazy native Chinese person. All the people I meet on the street or even see around campus, are working their hardest. For example, the convenience store inside our dorm building is very popular and most kids go their during our class breaks to get snacks. The lady who runs the store is tiny, probably 5'4 and weights no more than 110 pounds. Therefore, generally speaking, you would think she would be weaker than the average person. But when Sydney and I bought a big jug of water, she carried it up to the 5th floor for us, even though we insist that she not. Even the tutors that are required to do volunteer hours, act as if they are being paid. Chinese people have a great appreciation for education, unlike in America where going to school seems like a chore.

7) Breakfast food, wya?
For breakfast in China, you eat very flavorful, non-breakfast like food. It is very common to eat pork, potatoes, noodles, and dumplings for breakfast. In America, breakfast is usually whatever you can grab on your way out the door. Generally we eat fruit, cereal, waffles, or granola. But in China, you always sit together, as a family, and eat breakfast. And the parent, or whoever cooks for the family, wants up earlier and prepares a fresh meal.

8) 谢谢， 对不起
In America, you cannot go 30 minutes without hearing or saying "thank you" or "I'm sorry". But in China, you will barely hear anyone saying these phrases. In America, people will overuse "sorry" even for the smallest of mistakes. For example, it is common to hear Americans saying, "I'm sorry for getting upset". In China, they reserve "sorry" exclusively for actions that cause other people pain/ suffering. The same thing goes for saying "thank you". Many Chinese students I have meet have told me that I say "thank you" too often. In America, we are raised to be grateful for other people's actions. In China, it is no that they are ungrateful, but they show their gratitude in different ways. I'm sure you all have encountered or at least heard that Asians are known for bringing gifts when they are invited to someone's house. This is one of their deep traditions that they use to show their thanks. Another example, is when I tried translating a sentence into Chinese and found that there was no way to say it. I was writing a letter to one of my tutors and wanted to say, "thank you for being my tutor". After asking Sydney, who is in advanced Chinese, she said she could not figure out a way to translated it. Then we asked our teacher who told us Chinese people simply do not say stuff like that and that I should instead write, "谢谢。你射非常好的辅导老师" which means, "thanks you. You are a fantastic tutor".

9）"___姐姐”
In America we simply call our driver or maid by their name, but in China they will call them 阿姨 (aunt) or 依附 (uncle) even though they are not related at all. They do this to eliminate distance between them. Chinese people believe that calling each other by their names will create a barrier between them causing them to feel less close to each other. Calling someone 阿姨 or 依附 shows them that you respect them as if they were you blood related relative.

10) 外国人 privilege
In China everyone looks similar, with the same facial features, hair color, and general body structure; therefore, tourists stand out a lot. I, being half Chinese, do not have it has bad as my red-haired and blue-eyed friends. Not only will people stop us on the street for pictures, but they will touch our hair, hug us, and act like we are old friends. Even in a more formal setting, foreigners are treated differently. And by "treated differently" I mean treated better. For example, a couple of us NSLI-Y students along with 厦门外国语学校 students went to a restaurant on campus together last week. Since we had a fairly big party, 8 people, they gave us a private room even though we did not request one nor pay for one. They also did not charge us for the sanitized silverware like usual. The Chinese students were in shock and said that they had "never been treated so well in a restaurant" before.

11) Affection
Generally speaking, most Americas are very affections, even in public. But in China, any form of affection is frowned upon, especially between opposite genders. Their culture also creates a very professional-like atmosphere at home. Because of their deep and old culture, Chinese children have a very different relationship with their parents than I do. They never say "I love you" or even hug each other. When my host sister leaves for school, she simply says "goodbye" but at home, when I leave for school, I usually hug my parents and say, "have a nice day". This also reflects different parenting styles. At home, most parents focus on giving their children more freedom and responsibilities. This contracts Chinese homes where parents want to protect and watch their children more closely. This is where the term, "tiger mom" or "helicopter parent" comes from.

12) Dinner table conversations
When it comes time for a meal, we all eat together at the table. That is it, just eat. There is usually little to no conversing between my host family. At home, there is never silence when we have family meals. My parents view meal times as a time to talk about each other's day. In addition. when someone is done eating they simply say “我吃完了" which means, "I am done eating". Then they get up and return to their room or go to the living area. Most of the time, my host sister doesn't even say anything and just dramatically puts down her spoon/ chopsticks to tell her parents she is done eating. She then gets up and goes back to her room. Seeing this on the first few days in my host family was shocking. At my home in America, no one leaves the table until the entire family is done eating. Then, as a family, we clean up. Before coming to China, I assumed the people would have more rich views on these types of things.